Greater Noida (Hridaya Mohan): There are two certainties in the 21st century: the sun will rise and Donald Trump will tweet something that leaves the White House staff, Wall Street and half of NATO scrambling to figure out whether he’s joking, threatening or launching a new reality show.
This week’s episode of The Trump Show opened with a fresh twist: a 280-character royal decree that Intel CEO Lip-Bu Tan should resign. No shareholder vote, no corporate process, not even a polite LinkedIn message — just a presidential thumbs-down hurled into cyberspace before breakfast.
In an era of “policy uncertainty,” Trump has turned unpredictability into an art form. Today it’s a tariff, tomorrow it’s a pardon, the day after it’s a new immigration rule and now… CEO replacements. In the global political theatre, he’s not just the leading man — he’s also the writer, director, set designer and popcorn vendor.
From Tariffs to Titles
Just last month, India got a taste of Trump’s tariff tornado — 50% duties on certain imports, coupled with a 25% penalty for buying Russian oil. It felt like a diplomatic seesaw: one day India was a “great friend,” the next we were accused of economic betrayal. And before our commerce ministry could finish drafting a response, he had already moved on to criticising NATO, congratulating a golfer and suggesting a new name for TikTok.
Now, with Lip-Bu Tan’s job in his sights, Trump appears to be building his résumé as “Global CEO in Chief.” The rumored Global CEO Selection Committee has one member — himself — and a selection process based entirely on “vibes” and how often the candidate praises his hotels.
India on the List
Leaked “Trump shortlists” hint at his Indian corporate preferences:
- Tata Group – “Great history. Great tea. Needs more gold towers.”
- Amul – “Incredible butter. Let’s add a ‘Trump Ice Cream’ flavour — it’s huge.”
- Infosys – “Smart people. First task: set up a system that auto-corrects my tweets.”
- Indian Railways – “World’s biggest rail network. I’d make it the longest golf cart track.”
From Cricket to Cinema
Indian cricket selectors might want to keep their phones on silent. Trump is known to appreciate “winners,” so Virat Kohli could find himself suddenly benched in favour of “the legendary, terrific Dhoni.” Bollywood isn’t safe either — whispers in Mumbai suggest Trump is eyeing a cameo in Dhoom 4, provided the villain’s hideout can be converted into a Trump Tower.
Peace, but Make it Nobel
And of course, there’s the matter of the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump has made no secret of his wish to join the club of global peacemakers — a club whose members include Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and, somewhat controversially, a few politicians who started wars before ending them. If firing the Intel CEO can be spun as “avoiding a semiconductor conflict,” Trump might just nominate himself.
Imagine the acceptance speech:
“Nobody’s ever made more peace than me. People say Gandhi was good — I’m better. He didn’t have Twitter.”
Trump: The World’s Largest Job Creator (Unintentionally)
If there’s one thing even Trump’s critics admit, it’s that he’s a global employment engine — though perhaps not in the way he imagines. His tweets have kept financial experts busy recalculating forecasts, world leaders busy rewriting speeches and media houses working overtime on “breaking news” tickers.
Cartoonists have drawn more Trump caricatures in last six months than of all previous US presidents combined. Writers / satirical writers have enjoyed a productivity boom, while TV anchors know they can safely throw away their planned scripts each morning — Trump will hand them a new one by lunchtime.
Stand-up comedians call it the “Trump Dividend” — a steady stream of free material, delivered at no cost, direct from the White House to comedy club microphones worldwide.
Global Ripples from Breakfast Moods
It’s tempting to dismiss these pronouncements as entertainment, but they carry weight. A sudden tariff on a major economy can crash markets in minutes. A CEO swap at a tech giant like Intel can shift global supply chains. A presidential comment on oil can spike petrol prices in Noida before lunch.
Diplomats have begun following the “24-hour Trump Rule”: don’t react immediately. There’s a decent chance he’ll reverse himself the next morning, depending on whether he had pancakes or black coffee. As one European envoy put it, “We used to study American policy. Now we study the President’s breakfast.”
The Satire and the Subtext
For Indian readers, Trump’s antics offer a mix of amusement and caution. The humour is obvious — a superpower run like a reality show, where every episode ends with someone getting metaphorically fired. But the subtext is serious: when the world’s largest economy operates on impulse, the tremors are felt from Wall Street to Dalal Street and from Silicon Valley to Bengaluru’s tech parks.
If this trajectory continues, don’t be surprised if next week’s Trump tweet announces:
“Appointing myself CEO of the World. Will be terrific. Everybody says so.”
Until then, world leaders, corporate boards, cricket selectors and casting directors — keep your helmets on and your Twitter notifications off.
About The Author
Mr. Hridaya Mohan (hridayamohan@yahoo.co.in) is a regular Columnist with a renowned Indian daily “The Hitavada”, “Bharat Neeti Media” and some other newspapers / magazines internationally. He lived and worked in Beijing for 6 long years as Chief Representative (China & Mongolia), SAIL. Recipient of “Sir M Visvesvaraya Gold Medal”for one of his papers, “Benchmarking of Maintenance Practices in Steel Industry” from The Institution of Engineers (India), he was awarded with “Scroll of Honour” for the excellent contributions to Engineering fraternity from IE(I), Bhilai, “Jawahar Award” for leadership excellence in SAIL and “Supply Chain Leader – 2017” award from IIMM. The writer lived and worked in Beijing for 6 long years as Chief Representative (China & Mongolia), SAIL.
